This cartoon, originally aired on BET, has been getting a lot of attention lately. Apparently it’s controversial. Personally I think it is 1) funny, 2) true, 3) necessary. Caution: This video contains a lot of uses of the words “fuck” and “shit” in various conjugations. I don’t recommend watching this at work unless you have headphones or an office door.
(Broken video has been fixed)
The artist is Bomani Armah (he goes by the name D’Mite), and his website, www.notarapper.com, elaborates on the nature of his music. He describes himself as a “poet with a hip-hop style, not a rapper”. That is, poetry to a hip-hop beat, rather than the gangsta trash that masquerades as hip-hop these days. I agree with the sentiment. Rap and hip-hop can be good. It’s just that the material that gets mainstream play completely sucks and is written by people with no talent or creativity.
This particular cartoon is a satire of a Tennessee style of rap music called “crunk”, which Webster defines thusly:
crunk – \’krəŋk\ Function: noun
1. a style of Southern rap music featuring repetitive chants and rapid dance rhythms
Here are the lyrics, for the benefit of people (mostly my parents) who are not going to be able to make head or tail of the video:
Read a book! Read a book! Read a motherfuckin’ book!
Read a book! Read a book! Read a motherfuckin’ book!
Read a book! Read a book! Read a motherfuckin’ book!
Read a book! Read a book! Read a motherfuckin’ book!
R-E-A-D A B-O-O-K!
R-E-A-D A B-O-O-K!
R-E-A-D A B-O-O-K!
R-E-A-D A B-O-O-K!
Not a sports page! Not a magazine! But a book, nigga! A fuckin’ book, nigga!
Not a sports page! Not a magazine! But a book, nigga! A fuckin’ book, nigga!
Not a sports page! Not a magazine! But a book, nigga! A fuckin’ book!
Raise yo kids! Raise yo kids! Raise yo Goddamn kids!
Raise yo kids! Raise yo kids! Raise yo Goddamn kids!
Raise yo kids! Raise yo kids! Raise yo Goddamn kids!
Raise yo kids! Raise yo kids! Raise yo Goddamn kids!
Your body needs water, so drink that shit!
Your body needs water, so drink that shit!
Your body needs water, so drink that shit!
Your body needs water, so drink that shit!
Buy some land! Buy some land! Fuck spinnin’ rims!
Buy some land! Buy some land! Fuck spinnin’ rims!
Buy some land! Buy some land! Fuck spinnin’ rims!
Buy some land! Buy some land! Fuck spinnin’ rims!
Brush yo teeth! Brush yo teeth! Brush yo Goddamn teeth!
Brush yo teeth! Brush yo teeth! Brush yo Goddamn teeth!
Brush yo teeth! Brush yo teeth! Brush yo Goddamn teeth!
Brush yo teeth! Brush yo teeth! Brush yo Goddamn teeth!
It’s called SpeedStick! It’s not expensive!
It’s called SpeedStick! It’s not expensive!
It’s called SpeedStick! It’s not expensive!
It’s called SpeedStick! It’s not expensive!
D’Mite’s song is interesting for several reasons, not the least of which is that the target is not the gangsta image, per se. Instead, he is offering general advice on how to live properly and live well. He doesn’t denounce the street slang, or the clothes, or the culture specifically. In fact, he embraces it in order to set some priorities.
I don’t normally think of inner city black youth as people who have bad personal hygiene habits or improperly invest their money. Mostly the stereotype is around drugs, gangs, violence, and poor family planning. The parenting issue is addressed in D’Mite’s song, but I didn’t expect real estate advice to also come with it.
Are deodorant and proper hydration endemic problems among inner city blacks? Does this song address some cultural habits that are not apparent to people who don’t live in those communities? I’m curious to hear any comments about this.
No, I’m not talking about the electronic kind that annoys people. I’m talking about the kind you eat. I just finished picking these at work:
Wild summer blackberries right off the vine. Whether accidentally or by design, much of the property fence on the side facing the highway is lined with blackberry bushes. They serve as a great deterrent to trespassers, as anyone who has ever gotten tangled up in one can tell you. They also grow fast and aggressively, and require no care beyond natural sun and rainfall.
I started noticing that they are fruiting, and eagerly waited until there were enough ripe ones to pick. They’re sweet and delicious, and a few are now staining my clothes (the whole thing reminds me of this story from my childhood). There are so many more, fat, juicy ones beyond the fence that I can’t reach. Damn. Anyway, I will wash these and probably have with my lunch today. Maybe some cream to go with them would be warranted.
And yes, the blackberry vines did have their revenge on me for taking them. I have scratches up and down my arms now.
One of my projects at work is painting the golf cart we use as a lot vehicle. I’m just doing it for fun, and I’ve decided not to bill the company for the cost of materials, since I figure I’m getting at least that much value back in experience and experimentation in working with plastic and fiberglass.
A tenant who is a professional painter made a recommendation on the type of paint to use and the general technique (do the painting in the shade, on a cool surface, then put in the sun to bake it on). So I’ve had the golf cart inside one of the large storage units (which we use as a garage for the cart) in order to paint it.
Now, this is spray paint we’re talking about. So of course I’m concerned about fumes. I leave the roll-up door completely open, and there is typically a good breeze here, so the ventilation is very good. I wore some old, ratty clothes (which are now covered with green and white paint), and latex gloves.
I did not, however, wear any protection for my lungs. I spent 1½ hours in that garage, spray painting. When I was done I had green nostrils and I spat green saliva for an hour afterward. I went home and did a nasal irrigation and expelled hunter green mucus from my sinus cavities.
Today I did some more spray painting. This time I wore a NIOSH N95 safety mask. This type of mask protects against airborne particles, such as paint mist (although not oil-based aerosol fumes — for that you need a P95 rated mask). This, ladies and gentlemen, is what I was breathing the first time when I wasn’t wearing a mask:
While it is true that mucus is one of the body’s barriers against foreign matter entering the body, it isn’t 100% effective. When I went outside the unit for a breather every couple of minutes, I noticed that the breeze was pulling the paint mist out and the mist was so thick it looked like smoke coming out of the building. The moral of the story is: always wear all your safety gear, even if you don’t plan to be working very long.
My professional competency is something I take pride in, and take great care to preserve. In particular, my jobs over the years have involved working with lots of numbers, often money-related, and it is very important that those numbers be correct.
In my current job, I am responsible for reconciling the daily receipts and handling bank deposits. The computer produces reports and my manual checks must match. This morning I got email from our operations manager, forwarded from the parent company’s accountants:
7/3/07 daily is off on the deposit part. The deposit slip says $3481.00. It should be $3951.
Of course I was curious, since I rarely make an error like this. So I pulled our copy of the daily deposit for that date and examined it. Then I sent this reply:
The deposit was correct. There were 2 deposit slips for that day, as there were so many payments. Both pink copies are attached to the daily I sent. 1st slip totals $3481.00 and the 2nd is $470.00, for a total of $3951.00 received for 7/3/07.
The short version for people who don’t want to try to parse that is:
Accountant: “OH NOZ THE DEPOSIT FOR 7/3/07 IZ TEH WRONG.”
Me: “O NO IT IZNT.”
It reminds me of when my father went back to school during the unemployment peak in the 1980’s. He very rarely got a wrong answer on an exam, and as a result, the professor later told him that when he had seen a wrong answer come out of the Scantron machine on my dad’s test, he had checked the answer key and discovered that the key was wrong.
In either case, I think the following picture is appropriate:
Today I went to an odd little store in Cupertino called the Lychee Tree. It’s best described as a Japanese version of a dollar store. Well, more exactly, it’s Japanese plus other generic China-made oddities. This particular store has an eBay presence as the seller “japan_bargain”, which I discovered purely by accident. The eBay items are a tiny fraction of the random knickknacks found on the shelves.
We will examine a small selection of items that I purchased there. We begin with:
The Flyswatter
For whatever reason, I have been totally unsuccessful at finding a flyswatter for sale in my neck of the woods (or even on the internet). It’s a simple thing designed for a simple use: swatting flying insects. In this part of California, we have seasonal problems with populations of tiny moths, and I was delighted to discover this Japanese flyswatter at the mere price of $1.75.
The Pill Case
One of the things I really like about Japan is the attention to detail and quality in even the most trivial, everyday items. This pill case is a great example. Multiple smaller boxes in rainbow colors all fitting inside a larger, clear case with a simple plastic latch on it. I love the simplicity and attractiveness of the design. Sure, I can buy pill cases here, but they usually come in some boring uniform color, like blue or white, and typically have something pre-printed on them, such as the day of the week.
I don’t want my pill case to be marked. If I want it marked, I can put little stickers on it. Apparently the Japanese maker of this pill case thought the same. Why mess it up the aesthetic of an otherwise ordinary item that can bring a bit of color into your day?
Sugar Dog
Here we start to get a bit strange (which is part of the charm of Japanese products). This box is a general-purpose thing for storing small jewelry, beads, tiny candies, or whatever else comes to mind.
It’s the Engrish on this package that I really love. “Lovery Animal World”. I can’t help but wonder if that’s supposed to say “Lovely”. The text on the box itself is hard to read in the picture, but it says “The kind hearted blue dog with a weakness for sweets”. I guess “Sugar Dog” is an appropriate name, then. I think it also implies that this box is intended for keeping small candies close at hand. I approve of this idea.
The Ear Cleaning Sticks
Japan has cotton swabs, I know for a fact. So this is presumably intended for some other purpose. I bought them because I just had to know.
These little plastic sticks come attached on a plastic tree (like plastic model kit parts), and you twist one free to use it. What I discovered is that the business end is sticky, so I suppose it’s meant to clean the outer ear canal by grabbing onto foreign particles. It doesn’t work so well for ear wax, since ear wax resists adhering to a sticky surface, so I’m not entirely sure what the purpose of this product is.
Apparently sticking it into your ear too far is contraindicated, as it is with cotton swabs. I’m not sure you could even get away with selling a product like this in the United States (the dollar store notwithstanding), because you know some moron is going to perforate their child’s eardrum with it.
The Syringe
When I first saw this item in the store, I did a double-take, because it can’t possibly be what it looks like. What is this for?
Closer examination reveals that the “needle” on this syringe is not sharp, or even pointed. It’s hollow, certainly, but you won’t be injecting any heroin with this baby.
The “needle” part screws onto the capsule firmly, which is quite a clever design since it is more water-tight than a snap-on design. I bought a blue one, but this item also was available in the store in pink.
More fabulous Engrish on the back of the package. I especially like the fact that the word “things” is hyphenated. The little diagram in the upper left looks disturbingly like a syringe pulling a dose of medication from a sealed ampoule. A closer looks, however, shows something that looks more like a fingernail polish bottle. The small text next to it says “Dropper for refilling such as perfume”.
Okay, so it’s supposed to be an eyedropper of sorts for transferring some liquid from a large container to a smaller one. The Japanese cosmetic products I saw at the store suggest that there is a big market for tiny, daily-supply containers for makeup and such, so this makes sense. I remain confused, however, about the choice of delivery vehicle for this. A syringe? Why not just an eyedropper?
Anyway, these items seemed to cry out for the “strange capitalism” tag. Japan has a product market that reflects its consumers and their culture. I’m always fascinated by the social customs revealed by products like this. I’m also fascinated by tiny containers and tiny things with moving parts, so stores like this feed some kind of personality quirk that I have. Hope you all enjoyed.
HARARE, Zimbabwe — Police impounded taxis that had not complied with government orders to cut fares, stranding commuters, state media reported, while shoppers stampeded stores as cornmeal, bread, meat and other staples vanished from groceries.
At least 100 taxis had been impounded since Wednesday, state radio said, in the latest crackdown since the government ordered price cuts of about 50 percent in response to the country’s rampant inflation. Since the June 25 order, consumers have wrestled over sudden bargains, and chief executives have been hauled into court for failing to cut prices.
This is why price controls don’t work. All they do is create shortages, and then the goods are not available at all, at any price.
Market forces will cause a business to resist lowering prices below its costs. That is, if a gas station buys its gasoline supply at $1.00 / gallon, and the government tells them they can only sell it for $0.75 / gallon and no more, then the gas station has two choices: refuse and survive, or obey and go out of business.
Devil’s Advocate: “Then the government just makes the gasoline supplier charge less for the gas, and then the gas station can buy it and make a profit.”
Counterargument: There are two possible sources for the gasoline: internal to the country, and imported from outside. If it’s imported, the supplier is going to tell the country to go to Hell, and then stop selling fuel there (because the profit is either lousy or nonexistent – no incentive). If the supply is from within the country, the supplier faces the same dilemma: is the government forcing a price reduction that is below the cost of producing the fuel? If so, to survive the company must refuse the price reduction.
Even a state-owned supplier is not immune to this economic truth. Producing goods has costs associated with it: Capital equipment such as refineries, wages to employees, raw materials (crude oil).
The report on Zimbabwe by the Canadian government back in 2004 made a parallel observation:
Construction has experienced very tough times recently, with income off more than 80 percent since 1999, as inflation and high capital costs have stifled spending on projects and building, a situation exacerbated by the hard currency shortage that prevents the importation of required equipment and fixtures for new buildings. Private companies in the transportation sector have similarly been hit hard by price controls and the hard currency shortage, the latter causing maintenance and fleet replacement difficulties. The private telecommunication sector is, on the whole, doing well; although rising equipment import costs and the need to pay international connection charges in hard currency have tested their strength and resiliency. Price controls, corruption and mismanagement have resulted in huge losses at many of Zimbabwe’s largest parastatals, including the Posts & Telecommunications Company, the national railway, the national oil company and the Zimbabwe Electricity Supply Authority. . .
Manufacturing, which has suffered extensively in recent years, is a victim of spiraling inflation, limited capital availability, declining real consumer incomes, critical hard currency and imported component shortages, and a shrinking human capital base, and as a result faces extreme uncertainty.
As government forces those costs to go down the results are poor quality equipment, poor quality or nonexistent employees, and insufficient raw materials. The 2006 article in the New York Times indicates what the consequences of this are:
The purity of Harare’s drinking water, siphoned from a lake downstream of its sewer outfall, has been unreliable for months, and dysentery and cholera swept the city in December and January. The city suffers rolling electrical blackouts. Mounds of uncollected garbage pile up on the streets of the slums.
These problems have been going on for at least a year now, probably longer. When the sanitary infrastructure breaks down, and people start getting sick and dying, panic sets in. People will become more and more desperate, and more and more willing to resort to violence to survive. Keeping order is already impossible, and the country is descending into anarchy:
Riot police were called Thursday to a wholesale store to control a stampede of shoppers gathering up reduced goods. Extra police were posted at downtown clothing and shoe stores.
People rush to buy what they can while the items are available. The lower prices are a primary incentive, but many people also realize that once the existing stock is gone, more will not be forthcoming. The paper currency is losing its value from day to day. Physical goods are what has value. So they hoard what they can get. This also causes people to take more than they need, leading to a distribution of goods that is unequal to actual demand:
“There’s a surrealism here that’s hard to get across to people,” Mike Davies, the chairman of a civic-watchdog group called the Combined Harare Residents Association, said in an interview. “If you need something and have cash, you buy it. If you have cash you spend it today, because tomorrow it’s going to be worth 5 percent less.”
Earlier in the week, the government withdrew the licenses of all private slaughterhouses, accusing them of refusing to reduce meat prices.
Restaurants and fast food outlets were also ordered to slash their prices. Police told one restaurant owner to “redesign the menu,” to eliminate more expensive gourmet dishes.
In several restaurants, steak was out of stock, waiters said.
Police even shut down the canteen at the Harare law courts, used by court officials, magistrates and police, for failing to comply with the price order, state media reported Friday.
Notice the direct connection here. Restaurants are asked to cut prices, but they can’t unless they can acquire the raw foods they need at lower prices, also. If the butcher refuses to sell them meat at the government-mandated lower prices, then the restaurant cannot survive. The butcher cannot comply with the lower prices because it, too, will die if it obeys. That leads to this:
Butcheries, stores, factories and gas stations were unable to replace materials sold at below the original cost since the prices edict.
The rush of people to buy up goods while they can causes existing stocks to run out more quickly. Then, no more supplies arrive, because suppliers either go out of business or they simply cannot provide more at the prices the government has fixed.
The Zimbabwe Independent newspaper, a respected privately owned business and political weekly, on Friday reported that central bank governor Gideon Gono expressed concerns over the prices crackdown, saying it likely would lead to widespread closures of businesses.
The fact that this newspaper is able to even print something resembling the truth, rather than Mugabe’s propaganda, is largely due to it being privately owned. The central bank governor, at least, appears to be reasonably intelligent about economics, which one would expect of a banking administrator.
State radio on Friday quoted Simon Khaya Moyo, Zimbabwe’s ambassador in neighboring South Africa, dismissing media reports there predicting the collapse of the economy, ending President Robert Mugabe’s long reign.
Translation: Simon Moyo is 1) Mugabe’s lapdog, 2) an idiot, or 3) both.
Official inflation is 4,500 percent, the highest in the world, though independent financial institutions estimate real inflation is closer to 9,000 percent.
I like how the article just presents this naked fact right after reporting denials that the economy is in bad shape.
The New York Times article provides some context for these inflation numbers. Keep in mind that at the time of the article, inflation in Zimbabwe had not yet reached 1000%:
. . .at a supermarket near the center of this tatterdemalion capital, toilet paper costs $417.
No, not per roll. Four hundred seventeen Zimbabwean dollars is the value of a single two-ply sheet. A roll costs $145,750 — in American currency, about 69 cents.
The price of toilet paper, like everything else here, soars almost daily, spawning jokes about an impending better use for Zimbabwe’s $500 bill, now the smallest in circulation.
But what is happening is no laughing matter. For untold numbers of Zimbabweans, toilet paper — and bread, margarine, meat, even the once ubiquitous morning cup of tea — have become unimaginable luxuries. All are casualties of the hyperinflation that is roaring toward 1,000 percent a year, a rate usually seen only in war zones.
The article is accompanied by this interesting graphic:
The opposition Movement for Democratic Change described the price cuts as a political gimmick to shore up support for Mugabe’s party.
If that is Mugabe’s intent, then he’s an idiot, too. But we already knew that. I’m surprised the guy hasn’t been assassinated yet (although I hear there have been attempts). This is an absolute catastrophe that will have a severe impact on Africa as a whole, and set back the general level of civilization there by many decades.
It is, however, an object lesson in how certain kinds of economic policies don’t work, and often have the opposite effect from that intended. Price controls Do. Not. Work. I can’t say it enough, folks.
Usually I’m not impressed by France, which includes not being impressed by their modern art. However, I’m making an exception this year with the advent of the Loire Estuary 2007 project. Basically, it’s a 40-mile stretch of river in France that is the territory of a number of outdoor, freestanding (or floating) works of art. The entry that has attracted the most attention is Dutch artist Florentijn Hofman’s “Badeend”, which translates to “Rubber Duck”:
I submit to you that this is made of 100% Awesome™. I giggle uncontrollably every time I look at a picture of it, although I’m not sure why. Hofman has this to say about his work:
A yellow spot on the horizon slowly approaches the coast. People have gatherd and watch in amazement as a giant yellow Rubber Duck approaches. The spectators are greeted by the duck, which slowly nods its head. The Rubber Duck knows no frontiers, it doesn’t discriminate people and doesn’t have a political connotation. The friendly, floating Rubber Duck has healing properties: it can relief mondial tensions as well as define them. The rubber duck is soft, friendly and suitable for all ages!
The rubber ducky is made of rubber-coated PVC, with a pontoon and a generator to keep it inflated. It is free-floating, and has prompted a “duck hunt” up and down the Loire river among visitors eager to see the duck. It might be a good thing that this particular ducky does not have a squeaker. It would break windows from Tours to Lyon.
In all fairness, the artist is Dutch, so I suppose I’m still not impressed by France.
One of the things Kyle and I have noticed is a growing low-level incompetence of people in their paying jobs. I’ll let him explain that more at length if he feels like it, since he’s better at articulating what we mean. Today’s blog entry is about another data point in that body of evidence.
A couple of weeks back, I ordered a wall calendar from an online office supply company (which I won’t name). Nothing fancy, just paper with a cardboard backing that I can hang on the wall. I needed one now because I’m going to start the academic school year soon and I keep track of things better if they’re on the wall in front of my face instead of in a day planner. So the calendar I ordered is a 2007 calendar:
Problems begin when the thing arrives. Below is a photo of the calendar itself. On top of it is the box it came in:
Notice the disjunct between the size and shape of the box, and the calendar (also note, just for amusement’s sake, how badly damaged the box is. UPS delivered it like that). You may be wondering how they made it fit.
Yep. They folded it. Twice. I’ll remind you that the calendar has a cardboard (read: rigid) backing.
Okay. I’m less annoyed by the condition of the calendar than I am by the sheer ineptitude, or perhaps laziness, that caused whoever packed this item to think this was acceptable. So I sent email to the company that boiled down to “I can still use this calendar but c’mon guys, what the hell? You might want to talk to your drop-ship company about this.”
So a few days later I get a voicemail from someone at the company. She gives me her name and her direct phone number, and apologizes. She says she takes full responsibility and that she will 1) mail me a new one, flat this time, and 2) send me a UPS return shipping label so I can return the damaged one without paying shipping.
I’m pretty impressed by this, since it’s rare for a company to respond so promptly and thoroughly to a customer complaint, much less for someone to take ownership of the remedy. So I wait a few days. Then, the new one arrives:
Looks good so far. It arrived flat (note the simple solution: a regular box, unfolded flat and then taped). I’m pleased. Then after I take the new calendar out, I notice something:
Notice any difference between the two? My original damaged one is on the left. New one is on the right. Need a hint? Okay:
Yeah. They sent me a 2008 calendar for a replacement, rather than the 2007 I needed.
At this point I actually feel kind of sorry for the woman who took charge of fixing this problem for me. I’ve been in her position (making a retarded mistake and then making another retarded mistake in trying to rectify it), and it’s utterly humiliating. When she calls back to follow-up (which she said she would), I’m not going to be mean about it. But I will suggest that I just keep both and we’ll call it even.
My primary concern was making the company aware of the fact that their packing employees may require some re-training. I can use the 2007 calendar. It’s just bent a little. But damn…folding something rigid to make it fit in a box is right up there with sawing a ladder in half to make it fit sideways through a doorway.
Attention customers of my storage facility: The following are not legitimate excuses for having late fees waived:
1. “I never got my bill.” Read your contract. It states (and you were told at the time you rented) that we do not invoice. What we send you is a courtesy reminder that your rent is coming due. It is your responsibility to remember to pay your rent on time. Failure of the post office to deliver your mail properly is not our problem. Do you think the phone company would be sympathetic to “I didn’t get my bill”? Do you think the IRS would let you off if you told them you never got your W-2 form?
2. “I don’t have a lot of money. Can you cut me a break?” If you don’t have a lot of money, then pay your goddamn rent on time and you won’t have extra fees to pay. If you don’t like it, take your stuff somewhere else. If you can’t afford to have a storage unit, then don’t have one. We don’t want to hear your whining about how life is unfair and you’re just trying to get by, especially while you flash your $300 cell phone and trendy clothes after getting out of a brand new VW Beetle. If you’re under the age of 25, sport any kind of retarded goatee (if you’re a man), and I detect any entitlement vibe from you, you’re already well into the negative range, so don’t tempt fate further. Your late fees amount to 2 days’ worth of Starbucks. Pay it and GTFO.
3. “I don’t understand the simple explanation you are giving me about why I owe late fees, therefore I shouldn’t have to pay them.” You being stupid is not our problem. If you have that much trouble with life, find someone who can help you.
4. “I mailed my payment but you got it 1 day late.” Payments are credited the day they are received. If you can’t rely on the post office, mail it sooner. Call us and pay over the phone with a credit card. Pay a month ahead. Drop by in person.
ADVICE: Thank whatever gods you believe in that we let you rent here. Larger companies and corporate chains would not put up with any of this B.S. for a second, and their fees are higher.
While I’m at it, here are some other things that storage facilities don’t want to hear:
5. “I know my unit is in lien, but can you take the overlock off for just one second so I can get something?” No. The presence of that overlock technically means that we have the right to auction your belongings and they are being held hostage pending payment (in full) of what you owe. There are exactly TWO exceptions I make in cases like this:
a. I will allow you to remove tools you need to do your job if you have made some kind of payment toward what you owe, and I believe you will continue to attempt to pay it off. The overlock will stay on in the meanwhile. You’re welcome.
b. I will allow you to remove anything that is not supposed to be stored in the unit, such as open food (human or pet), hazardous materials, or anything valued at more than the limit stated on the contract. Nothing else may be taken, and the overlock will go back on.
Normally people should not have to be told things that fall under the heading of common courtesy and common sense. But we all know these things are in short supply, so here are some other things storage tenants should know or observe:
6. The dumpster is chained up for a reason. If we let people dispose of trash here, we’d need a dozen dumpsters and we’d have people lined up down the block waiting to throw stuff into it. Take your own trash away. If you leave it here, and we know it’s yours, don’t be surprised when a collections agency tracks you down demanding $50. We don’t care that you don’t know what to do with your mattress/couch/car axle. It’s not our problem.
7. Be careful when backing up a rental truck. Have someone else stand outside and guide you so you don’t hit the building. I’ve had to pay over $3,000 to repair structural damage to 2 of our buildings from large truck strikes (one building was pushed off the foundation, fer crissakes). If I knew who did it, they’d be getting the bill.
8. Don’t park on the street outside the facility for more than 12 hours if you don’t live here, and don’t park there overnight. The parking on our street is very limited, and must be shared by 3 residential homes and 6 businesses. Your camping out is illegal, annoying, and you’re nothing but a bum who lives in his/her smashed-up car and sleeps in it all day. You keep coming back even though we’ve called the police on you multiple times. That new sign on the fence is aimed at you. You know who you are. You’re not welcome here.
9. Don’t fuck with me. If you do anything illegal on my property, you will be evicted. If I ever have to call the police on you, you will be evicted. If you argue with me about the terms of your tenancy, you will be evicted. If you ever threaten or attempt to intimidate me, I will call the police (and then you will be evicted).
10. We know what you’re up to. Whatever you’re doing in your unit that you’re trying to hide from other people, we know about it.
Now, I realize that this doesn’t apply to most people. 99% of my tenants are responsible, friendly, courteous people who understand how to behave in a civilized way. But for that 1% of you who don’t, be aware that other people do notice your barbaric ways, and resent the fact that you force us to make rules that are a pain in the ass for everyone. Stop being a dick and we’ll stop picking on you. Nobody cares about your excuses for why you are incapable of acting like a human being rather than a chimpanzee. Stop burdening us with it. In fact, stop burdening the world with yourself.
Thank you,
The Management
UPDATE 07/12/07: People ask me why we charge late fees in the first place. The complaint usually revolves around something like “Corporations are just taking advantage of people to make a few more bucks.”
No, that’s not the reason. Businesses operate on a margin.
Gross Revenue = Net Revenue (Profit) + Expenses
It’s the Expenses part that is relevant here. It costs money to operate a business. The salary of employees, liability insurance, workman’s comp insurance, health plan, shrinkage (inventory loss through theft and damage), the phone bill, ISP, garbage bill, sewage, water, electricity (HVAC alone in a modest office building can run $30,000/month), etc. etc. These expenses are called “overhead”. Paying overhead on time requires that a certain amount of money be available every month to meet these expenses. That money is called “cash flow”, aka “liquid assets”.
A business like a storage facility calculates how much cash flow will be available based on occupancy and the amount of money tenants are paying for their units. Expected Gross Revenue and expected Expenses are projected into the future to make a budget.
When people don’t pay their rent on time, it creates a shortfall in the projected Gross Revenue, and reduces cash flow. Unpredictable cash flow is a pain in the ass, and can expose the company to financial loss and legal trouble if they are not able to meet expenses on time.
Late fees are both a penalty and an incentive. It helps to compensate the business for the aggravation of a disrupted cash flow (which is a real, quantifiable loss), and encourages the customer to pay on time in the future.
A Belleville man accused of trying to kidnap a former girlfriend in Minneapolis laid out his plan in a notebook and a flow chart, outlining his goal to stun, Mace and “club her hard,” according to court documents. . .
According to the plan, Pentaleri was going to make contact with an ex-girlfriend with the initials of JML. Internet directions to the woman’s home were also inside the vehicle, according to the documents. Also found was a handwritten flow chart outlining his plan to “club her hard.”
The plan also listed two alternative plans on how to deal with her if she wasn’t alone, including a “lethal” option, the documents said.
Pentaleri, an Army officer, showed up at the airport wearing a long-haired wig, a fake mustache and beard when he was stopped and questioned near an airport carousel, according to police. . .
The duffel bag contained six condoms, a pillow case cut into strips, a camera, a turkey baster, KY oil, a bag of plastic gloves, two bags of zip ties, a package of Bic lighters, two-sided tape, shoe polish, a pair of nylon socks and Clorox disinfectant wipes.
Okay, so basically what we have here is your typical stalker freakjob. Bonus points that he’s an active Army officer. But this isn’t really what concerns me about this article. The part where I started getting confused was here:
Pentaleri was found carrying a stun gun, three chemical aerosol Mace cans, a folding pocket knife, a set of SUV keys and an expandable baton. He was issued a trespass notice and dropped off at an area hotel.
Wait, what?
This guy showed up at an airport wearing a disguise, carrying a stun gun, Mace, a knife, and a collapsible baton, and all they did was cite him for trespassing and take him to a hotel?
We’re talking about a US airport, right? The same place where they make me take off my shoes, my jacket, put my “3 oz. or less” shampoo and toothpaste in a Ziploc bag, confiscate my hair styling cream because it’s 5 oz., and forbid the presence of aerosol hairspray or deodorant? The same kind of airport where people waiting for arriving loved ones are not allowed past the security checkpoint anymore because they are not ticketed passengers? Where I have to show my damn ID about fifty times before getting on a plane and no one is allowed to bring a farking bottle of water on board unless it was bought inside the “sterile area”?
I note from the picture with the article that the man in question is white, not to mention active Army. Did either of those play a role in the decision to send him on his way rather than arresting him? Would this situation have played out differently if the man were of Middle-Eastern descent and was named Samir?
My cynical side says that if the guy had looked Middle-Eastern, we would still have sent him on his way, except we would have also given him a fruit basket and an apology for racial discrimination.
If it was because he was Army, why would that be a factor? Do we give a free pass to anyone in the military who acts like a kook or a murderer? Obviously not since we are prosecuting some Marines right now for killing unarmed prisoners, and sent the Abu Graib folks to prison.
I want to know who was responsible for that decision in Minnesota. That person or people need to be disciplined and retrained, or possibly criminally charged depending on the level of negligence involved. It’s outrageous that anyone could get away with being a genuine threat to an airport when ordinary folks are having their scissors confiscated.
