Comments on: Naomi Wolf Beats the Dead Pornography Horse

By: Sex sheep

Sex sheep — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 18:46:15 +0000

To the poster before me…. just another example of stories I hear from female friends. All very attractive women but thick as two socks about the fact men need a little mystery, a little holding back from women.
Didn’t anyone ever tell you that you need to hold something back from a man to keep his interest? What made you decide to become a sex sheep and try everything you see on a porno screen to satisfy the man?
What lack of confidence to turn yourself into a no-holds barred buffet? Don’t you realise it’s far more enticing to go for dinner at an expensive gourmet restaurant and choose the dish you’d like most than to have it all on offer like a food whore?
Sure variety is great. But there’s such a thing as personality and preferences and intimacy and communication. Didn’t you sex sheep ever think that throwing sex at a man in place of keeping your individuality clear would perhaps reduce the intimacy between you?
Did you ever hear of the notion: be true to yourself?
Did you ever understand what it meant?

Now do you realise that by doing everything and giving everything you may have lost your feminine integrity and along with that your essential individuality?

Nowadays dating involves throwing everything in a guy’s face on the 2nd date. How boring. How desperate. How sad. Who told you that offering yourself as easily as a MacDonald’s burger would build love?

Wake up! Hold something back. Stop conforming! Stop cheapening yourselves – whether you’re wives or girlfriends.

If a man stops having sex with you and you’ve thrown everything onto the plate, move on. He is bored as hell because you overdid it!!

By: Wake up sheeple

Wake up sheeple — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 18:29:34 +0000

We have not made “progress” and we are not better off than 3 decades ago.
A lot of women posters on here are like sheep and I pity you. You’ve been brainwashed by the media. But the really sad thing is that you can’t understand how a feminist such as Klein has to be so radically disenchanted with the “progress” women have made to literally be calling for a return to older values.
Face it, society today lacks leaders, morals, values, and long-lasting relationships.
If you can’t “get” that a feminist is stating progress has been a trap you’re not aware of much. Women are worse off today than they were a few decades ago. And kids are worse off too.
You’ll all be crying buckets one day because you can’t see into the future. You haven’t seen the effects on your marriages and children yet. But you will.
You’ve been sold down the river and you can’t even see it.

By: deremarc

deremarc — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 17:57:56 +0000

I have been looking for some insight into this very problem and can’t find much help on the net.

I have been in a relationship for 1 1/2 years. My boyfriend has an extremely high sex drive and in the beginning we had sex several times a day (and coming off of an 18 yr marriage with missionary style, plain-vanilla, seldom sex) (and being 38 and in “my prime”) I was thrilled.

But then I found out about my boyfriends cyber sex and internet activities and asked him to drop his membership to hookup sites (where he says he just looked) and to not chat up people on the internet anymore. And he quit.

But, he still masturbates 3 or 4 times a day and no longer has sex with me. My looks have not changed in 1 1/2 years. It is not that. And I have tried to satisfy his desires with role play, sexy clothes, semi-public sex,talking really dirty, anal sex, frequent blowjobs, completely shaved pubic hair, mild domination (rougher sex, pulling my hair, ordering me what to do) allowing him to cum on me, my face etc (although I am not willing to have a 3 sum or have sex with another guy for him). And, I ENJOY all of the things we do, but…

Now, we seldom have sex. He is tired, or overworked, or (if he spends the night) has to get home to do things.

Well, I have access to his prepaid porn account. And what he has to go home and do is jackoff.

I couldn’t understand why any redblooded man would prefer to wank than to have sex with a naked woman lying next to him willing to do anything he wants.

He does last forever (now I am hearing it is because I can’t compete with the tight grip and furious fast jerking of his hand).

I have asked to watch him masturbate and I do enjoy that *(I masturbate in front of him as well). I have asked him to “teach” me how to give him a handjob and I can’t grip it hard enough for him (never can get the damn pickle jar open either).

I am about to the point of leaving him or just finding a sex life of my own.

Going from sex every day to sex once or twice a month, where I feel as if he is having to “force” himself, and is probably fantasizing about the women in the pornos. Yuck..totally feel not into it when it is by rote.

I am slightly chubby (I have a tummy from having kids, but great legs and a great ass as well…but only have 36c boobs)

The point of what I look like is the women HE watches are plumpers: big butts, thick thighs, monster boobs…seriously monster boobs…like 40FFF kind of thing. I don’t look like that at all. No big butt or big thighs or big boobs.

It affects my self-esteem and is just plain pissing me off!

By: berl

berl — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 14:07:11 +0000

The comments get better and better here as time passes. I’m an older man who has looked at porn for over a decade. Now I find that I can’t function normally with a loving woman. I worry that I can never get it back.

By: Lillian

Lillian — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 22:59:03 +0000

Anne,
You ar emissing the whole point. That is great that you feel that way about yourself and your sexuality, but you are idealizing the reality of most women’s expereinces, as well as most men’s expereinces. Lot’s of women also get sucked into bad expereinces and relationships with horrible guys and that does not mean that the deserve it. No one deserves to be sexually abused or exploited and your assertions are not only arrogant but ignorant oif the complx psycho-social dynamics that play into the sexualization of women in ways that are counrary to a sexuality they may express if in another society. It is true that many men would love to see a women ahve pleasure, but the reality is that their assertions about what is pleasurable is often based on a phallocentric system where by men think that pleasure comesf from the intercourse itself, when in effect it is clitoral stimulation often acompanied by other stimulation that results, physiologiclly in orgasima nd extreem pleasure. That is not to say that one must be orgasmiclly centered, but for men it is rare that their actions are not centered around orgasmic pleasure being that intercourse almost always results in that, they in effect do not take consideration of the women’s desires or assume that what gives him pleasure also gives her pleasure. It is about missinformation, and pornmograpghy often teaches us these lessons furhter. Maybe it is for some women, exciting for a man to come on a women’s face with out her even getting anything back, but I can speak on behalf of many women who would like guys to take a little more time to go down and but his face in her so she can feel the same. If your husband does that for you, great. Many men never learn about women’s pleasure outside of their own perceptions of desire and many women are brought up to percieve themselves only through the gaze of ,masculine ddesire. You are missing crucial data.

By: hope2stop2day

hope2stop2day — Mon, 23 Jan 2006 17:46:45 +0000

In response to the last few comments, and in particular to those of beckmesser, I am 24 and have been married for close to three years. I have also been addicted to porn since I was about 14 years old. I have been trying to stop looking at porn since I was about 17 years old, and I can’t. Sure, I’ve slowed down quite a bit and can even go a few weeks without looking at it, but I can’t stop. I don’t masturbate to it as much now that I am married, but I still look at it and hate myself afterwords. Porn is a poison that destroys the sacredness of marriage and true intimicy. I wish I never would have seen it, and I know my marriage would be richly blessed if I would committ to not partaking in porn.

I don’t know if my situation is unique, but I felt I had to comment on this topic. I love my wife and find her very attractive, and luckily am still able to get aroused and ejaculate properly when I am with her. But every few weeks, porn rears its ugly head and overcomes me. I tell myself (after looking at it) that today is the last day, and this article has inspired in me a renewed committment to stop today.

By: kate

kate — Fri, 24 Jun 2005 07:56:44 +0000

It doesn’t sound like you’re from the generation Wolf is talking about. I’m in the 18-25 yr old generation and the article rings true to me.

By: beckmesser

beckmesser — Fri, 20 May 2005 16:25:05 +0000

I suspect what “cn” and others say about the potentially deadening, libido-deflating effects of pornography is broadly true. But do you know what INTELLIGENT MEN do when faced with the possibility that their acquaintence with porn might compromise their performance with REAL WOMEN? That’s right, you geniuses, they stop watching it, or at least limit theur exposure to it. Duh! Simply because they’ve grasped the truism that successful relations with women (whether as casual sexual partners or within marriage) are vastly more important than wallowing in sensual pleasure for its own sake. If you’ve given yourself over to the latter, well and good: you’ve removed yourself from the gene pool and have thereby contributed to the forward march of the species. God bless you!

By: belfast

belfast — Wed, 18 May 2005 00:36:32 +0000

Reality in every high school in the U.S. defeats Haight’s speech. Girls dress up as ten-dollar hookers in order to get boys’ attention, and no Anne, they didn’t do that back in the 50s. There is most definitely a sense of desperation, and girls are obliging many a young boy with oral satisfaction in the bathroom, just like “the stars on the net.”

Want a real shocker? This isn’t high school, honey, it’s SECOND GRADE. Ask any elementary school teacher – they’ll tell you real quick. Today’s kids are hyper-sexualized beyond belief. Please pay a visit to your local public elementary school for a lesson in reality, Anne.

By: cn

cn — Tue, 10 May 2005 14:58:35 +0000

Add another data point

addicitve: yes
reduced interest in real woman: yes
altered erotic interest: yes
depressive: yes

“actual presence of a naked, willing Naomi Wolf”: good joke
How TV cookery programmes desensitised me to eating.: good joke

My fealing is that Wolf has some good points.

My Joke:
I came across this aritcle while looking for porn my starting google search was “crack whores” sad isnt it.

Remember: “you must have some other problem its not the porn” probably has some truth but so does my data point.