Generally speaking, anything that annoys animal rights activists, especially PETA, is cool. The following item falls into that category:

TRENTON, N.J. — Animal rights activists are disgusted by a new candy from Kraft Foods Inc. (KFT) that’s shaped like critters run over by cars — complete with tire treads.

The fruity-flavored Trolli Road Kill Gummi Candy — in shapes of partly flattened snakes, chickens and squirrels — fosters cruelty toward animals, according to the New Jersey Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

I happen to think this is utterly hilarious. Partially flattened gummi animals with tread marks on them? That’s effing brilliant! Where was this stuff when I was a kid?

Remember bubble gum cigarettes? I used to chew those. I don’t smoke. The idea that candies lead kids into the adult vices they copy is fundamentally dumb. I used to eat Pixie Stix, too, and I don’t snort coke. Big League Chew was awesome. Did it lead me to start dipping? No. One might as well conclude that eating orange Lifesavers would lead someone to put a Cesium isotope emitter disk (which looks remarkably like an orange lifesaver) in their mouths.

Roadkill happens. Everybody’s seen it. It’s accidental. Nobody goes out of their way to run over animals on the road. Also, cartoons typically make fun of incidents like being run over by vehicles, leaving part of the cartoon animal flattened with tire marks. Then he gets up and in the next scene he’s fine. Kids understand this is fantasy. You’re a liar if you never laughed at the Coyote being run down by one of his own ACME products, or a random truck in a tunnel, or a train.

People really need to lighten up. But annoying PETA is so much fun.

14 Responses to “PETA Bent Out of Shape Over Road Kill Gummi Candy”
  1. A Richardson says:

    What was funny about Wily Coyote in the Bugs Bunny cartoons was that the violence was always understated. A semi-realistic depiction of dead animals isn’t in the same category. The former is presented in a genuinely humorous terms while the latter is just gross. I’m not a fan of PETA either, but I can’t quite relate to your indifference to corporations earning money while exposing my kids to disgusting humor and/or making kids numb to cruelty. I wouldn’t let my kids near these disgusting things mainly because I think the humor behind them is questionable at best. What next? Candy shaped like dead people? Candy shaped like famous serial killer victims? Candy shaped like the twin towers after being attacked? I mean, why not? If your idea is that whatever upsets people or whatever is tasteless is good for humor, then heck, it’s all fair game, right?

  2. Tom says:

    Actually, if I see another possum trying to get into my back yard to eat my chickens, I *will* run it over. ๐Ÿ™‚


  3. Sigivald says:

    The SPCA isn’t PETA, either.

    IT’s still funny, though.

  4. Anne Haight says:

    A semi-realistic depiction of dead animals isn’t in the same category.

    You think that candy package in the pic above depicts semi-realistic dead animals? Um, ok.

    Also, the comparison to murdered human beings is not valid, for obvious reasons.

  5. TTK Ciar says:

    Poor little misunderstood gummis.. It reminds me of this movie:

    — TTK

  6. JW says:

    I’ve been trolling the quick marts around my place hoping to score a bag of these myself. Like you, I was laughing saying, “Where were these when I was 13?”

    Folks need to smoke a bowl and relax, damn.

  7. Rainne says:

    ::snort:: I want some of those!

  8. hair transplant says:

    Who does not want them, huh?

  9. Ironfist says:

    Although I find them overzealous most of the time, I would have to agree with PETA on this occasion. Near my house there is a duck pond with a road running adjacent. Last week I saw a young idiot driver target a duck purposely. It is this attitude that needs to be steered away from. (pun not intended!) Amusing idea until you stop and think for 5 seconds and realise that it is that kind of message that desensitizes people to killing animals on the road. No, it is not going to cause a sudden desire to run down snakes and the like but it will further reinforce it as a socially acceptable, harmless joke. When is the last time you saw someone show some compassion for a cat with its flesh stuck to the road waiting to die?

  10. Anne Haight says:

    Ironfist, so I guess you never watched Wile E. Coyote cartoons as a kid? Sure didn’t turn me into an animal-squishing driver.

  11. *r_demar* says:

    okay okay…yes animals get run over unfortunately and yes it is sad. but the truth is i’m SO sick of PETA’s B.S. battles… fighting the “evil people” who make road kill gummies isn’t doing nething to help the more important issues like saving animals or stopping cruelty/abuse of pets and farm animals alike. I myself am a vegetarian and an animal rights activist and i absolutely abhore some of the sh*t PETA tries to pull in the name of “helping animals”. PETA, grow a pair and fight a real battle for once!

  12. lili says:

    I don’t see what there so upset about.Imean,it’s not like there going to intentionally going to run over animals when they get older.It’s STUPID!!!i think itsa good thing to annoy peta so they should come up with real sized gummies JUST to anoy peta XD.

  13. justcallmeageek says:

    We got these once. I agree they’re hilarious. Politically incorrect, yeah, but funny nonetheless.
    Then again, I do have a bit of a twisted sense of humor.
    I hate seeing dead things on the road, but usually what you see is mostly pest animals when you think about it. Possums and the like.
    Animal cruelty is wrong and we shouldn’t like, run them over on purpose. but some people are way to uptight about this kind of humor.

    You don’t have to agree, but I think maybe, if you’re gonna fight for animals fight for them where they need it, where actually cruelty is taking place.

  14. wendymae says:

    I have to say that yes, people do intentionally run down animals on the road. I have seen laughing drivers swerve towards my cat as he crosses the street. A couple months ago a dog was wandering across the road by my house, and my brother and I looked on in horror as a car turned the corner slowly, then stepped on the gas as hard as they could and SLAMMED into that dog. The noise was sickening. Just a few days ago, I overheard someone saying they couldn’t be bothered to slow down as a possum crossed the road, so they just rolled over it. Then they say, “ was just a possum anyways.” That kind of indifference is upsetting to me. And who is to say that a possum is a “pest” animal? Anything can be a pest, if you don’t like it. That doesn’t mean it is alright to just kill it, especially if it wasn’t doing anything but walking! When I was a child, one of my cats disappeared. A couple weeks later we found out a neighbor had trapped it and had it taken away, because she thought he was a PEST for pooping in her yard. There is no leash law for cats where I live, so that CANNOT be justified. Gosh…I think I lost the point of this comment. Excuse me for my anger, I just think people need to know it does happen and regardless of whether you think an animal isn’t worth much, I guarantee its life mattered to it. PETA goes a little whacko with some of their campaigns…everyone seems to agree there. I guess what I wanna say is that if a kid is compassionate and smart, they will realize that this should not be a big joke to be copied in real life. But there are too many children being desensitized of their natural love for animals and nature…sigh. Nevermind.

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