Fark is an endless source of amusement for me. Sometimes the comment threads are way funnier than the item in question. Today was one of those days where the comment thread was the story, complete with follow-up.

Fark headline: “Farkette just passed a co-worker’s closed door and saw him, through the side light, standing on his desk shoving something up under the acoustic ceiling tiles. What wacky things are your co-workers up to today?”

I was intrigued by what the guy might have been putting up there. Apparently I wasn’t alone in wondering. The submitter comments, “Now I have to stay late tonight to check it out.”

And she does. She waits for the coworker to leave and then snoops in his office ceiling. I have included various comments from other farkers for entertainment value:

(submitter):
OK I’m back.

Here’s a partial list because it looks like this guy has stuff stashed under every friggin’ ceiling tile. A little something for everyone…

lots of office supplies…post-its, pens, paperclips and the like.
Food…ding-dongs (I took one), cheetos, doritos and diet coke.
Vodka…Grey Goose
and…….
Fat lady porn, secreted inside the company’s annual report.

There’s more, I’ll go back tonight. I started to panic because I had to put a chair on top of his desk to see up there and I was sure I was going to get caught.

This is followed by a number of amusing and intriguing posts:

Tell Them I Hate Them:
Freshman year of college I shared a dorm room with 3 other guys. One of them hid snacks (from us) in a ceiling tile for when he had the munchies. One night he walked in really late, and really high. He jumped up and punched the tile, and it rained down twinkies and ho-ho’s. Quite a sight.

(submitter):
I’m on such an adrenalin rush right now. I feel kind of dirty. I wonder what he’s going to think when he notices the missing ding dong.

the_rev:
Now you have to start putting some other stuff up there for him to find. Start small…like a bag of off-brand chips. Work your way up to fetish pr0n.

kitten uk:
Next, start storing other people’s things in his ceiling tiles.

And hide his fat-lady-porn in the boss’s copy of the report.

(submitter):
He’s back…with a box of Popeye’s chicken. I went over and non-chalantly chatted with him about what the weather was like outside.

He’s got family photos on his desk. His mother is pretty heavy, his girlfriend is skinny. Freak show.

the_rev:
So we have a Business Analyst with a fatty fetish/Oedipal complex. Hmm.

Tiga:
OMG, I’ve got tears in my eyes I’m laughing so hard.

This could beat pppppowerbook, in my estimation, if she keeps putting things in the ceiling and taking things out.

control:
FYI

never hide polaroids of your naked wife somewhere clever in your desk. The night shift looks everywhere for stuff and they are so bored they will fap to it.

just sayin’, that’s all.

(concerning the wackiness of coworkers):

bludstone: Just today? Okay.

One person thinks snopes.com is part of a liberal conspiracy.

The other thinks thesmokinggun.com is not legit, another liberal conspiracy.

badgertrojan:
My office is right next door to a middle-aged man who cries, nay, SOBS on a daily basis.

On person points out the obvious:

Chalupaman: Wouldn’t it suck if he reads Fark too?

I’m That Guy:
Years ago, when I worked for a grocery store, a sack lunch and a pair of mens underwear (in the same bag) were found in the ceiling tiles of the mens employee bathroom.

testacles:
A Fortune 500 company I worked for brieeeefly had an executive secretary to the division Fuehrer who was his evil henchwoman. Man, everybody hated this woman. When she would leave for the day, people would take *turns* borrowing her toothbrush that she left in her cube, and scrub toilets with it. Yow!

mama’s_tasty_foods:
At my last job I worked with a woman in her 40s who really needed meds– she believed that people were entering her office to steal things from her (this was her first explanation every time something went missing, though it was usually because she had misplaced it. The shiat would always turn up later). Our first clue came when she was brand-new, and she refused to discuss how old her son was (after a year she acknowledged he was in high school). She began asking for locks, first on her filing cabinet and then on the office door. She insisted that the girl who worked with her also lock the door, even if she was just walking down the hall in the middle of the day. Of course, she always lied to us, claiming not to know certain things we knew damn well she should know (i.e., claiming she never got an email from so-and-so, when 3 other people were cc’d on it), but it was obvious she was hoarding information to herself because she didnt trust anyone else– even the people she worked for and reported to.

Leave a Reply