There are days where I can hardly believe I made it to work with my vehicle intact. Today was one such day. You can use Mapquest to play along if you like (San Jose, California).

1. Branham northbound by my house is blocked off from Almaden Expy to Navaez (about a half mile) by the police. Cops everywhere. Flares everywhere. One minivan in the center median with a blown airbag. Another car on the other side of the lanes facing 180° the wrong way. Ouch.

2. Several schools in the area, as well as 3 freeway connections. Result: traffic fucking sucks in every direction.

3. I turn right, try to find back streets to another route. Minivan 4 cars ahead of me pulls over. Minivan behind it stops, blocking the street, for no obvious reason for upwards of 30 seconds before both drivers get out and start talking to each other. WTF. Get out of the fucking way!

4. I end up going the other direction on Navaez. Cross intersection. Cringe at the sound of tires screeching behind me as I am almost (but not quite) rear-ended.

5. SUV in front of me stops dead in the street. Driver and passenger get out and switch places, fire drill style. O-kay…

6. Asshat in giant pickup truck nearly runs me down on 87 North trying to make me go faster in bumper to bumper traffic.

7. Asshat trying to merge onto 101 North from Airport Pkwy comes to a dead stop in a lane of 60mph traffic. I swerve to avoid him.

8. Get to First Street waiting to turn left. There are 2 left turn lanes. Problem comes when 3 lanes of cars turn left. 3rd car being driven by asshat with a map over the steering wheel trying to read and drive at the same time.

I finally get to work wondering if it’s a full moon.

One Response to “Demolition Derby Commute”
  1. ryan says:

    cry me a fucking river

Leave a Reply